So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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