Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
