I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
