Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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