Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He passed out mid-signature
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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