it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
