people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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