He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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