You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
