hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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