Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
