Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
