I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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