then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
