Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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