Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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