haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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