i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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