i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
