a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
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He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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