You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Betty ford says i'm here all night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
