The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
