Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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