Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize