my vag is so smooth its legendary
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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