She's JV to your varsity
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
