He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
