The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
