it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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