Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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