Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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