I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You brought string cheese to the strip club
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
