holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
