I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
