So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
