I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
