how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
