I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
