Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
