i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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