Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
