he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
