So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
