please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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