Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
