so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
