that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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