Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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