Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
