I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
