I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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