I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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