Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
