It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
