Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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