You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
