This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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