That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
