My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
