she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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