Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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