I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
